LCD Soundsystem - "Someone Great"

This song means everything to me. I can instantly recognize the pulsing intro from the first note, and I always catch my breath. Whenever it comes on my ipod, it's guaranteed at least a half-dozen replays before I can move on to something else. The hold on me is three parts. It was a song I loved from the first time I heard it. It is a song about death. And it is the song that, for me, most summarizes everything about everything that happened with John. I don't cry when I hear it; usually I just mouth the words to myself and drift off into what is a funny other-worldly moment for me. One morning, right after John's death, John in the Morning was playing seemingly everything that had to do with my John (British stuff, his favorite bands, songs that had poignant or depressing meanings to me, etc.), and he played this song, mentioning how he just played a bunch of songs about death and how this was a really strong one for him. I had never really thought much about the lyrics before that moment, but once I did, there was no going back. It had been a favorite song, and I had (ironically, it turns out) just put it on a mix for Tom since it spoke about "someone great." I didn't see what it really meant until then. That's what happens when I don't pay attention. Anyway, I'll never forgive myself for everything that happened with John, but I'll also never believe that I really ought to. And I am very, very sorry.

I wish that we could talk about it,
But there, that's the problem.
With someone new I could have started,
Too late, for beginnings.
The little things that made me harassed,
Are gone, in a moment.
I miss the way we used to argue,
Locked, in your basement.

I wake up and the phone is ringing,
Surprised, as it's early.
And that should be the perfect warning,
That something's, a problem.
To tell the truth I saw it coming,
The way, you were breathing.
But nothing can prepare you for it,
The voice, on the other, end.

The worst is all the lovely weather,
I'm sad, it's not raining.
The coffee isn't even bitter,
Because, what's the difference?
There's all the work that needs to be done,
It's late, for revision.
There's all the time and all the planning,
And songs, to be finished.

And it keeps coming,
Till the day it stops.

I wish that we could talk about it,
But there, that's the problem.
With someone new I could have started,
Too late, for beginnings.
You're smaller than my wife imagined,
Surprised, you were human.
There shouldn't be this ring of silence,
But what, are the options?

When someone great is gone.

We're safe, for the moment.
Saved,
For the moment.